Some of the things that people think about, when girls are mentioned, is gossiping. The Lord warns us about being a gossip or talebearer. He says how it destroys the best of friends and spreads lies around. Today I am going to tell you what gossiping is, why it’s wrong and what we should do instead.
First we need to clarify, what tale bearing is. Merriam Webster dictionary defines it as one that spreads gossip and rumors. Gossiping is a rumor of an intimate nature and a gossip is a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others. What are sensational facts? These arouse a usually aimless interest, curiosity, or emotional reaction to whatever was stated. Wow, that was a lot of definitions! Let me simplify them so you can see how they apply to all of us. So first, we know that if we spread gossip, facts that are meant to arouse emotions and unnecessary reactions, about peoples private life (and even public). This is also a habit, that happens regularly.
You might say to yourself, “Well this doesn’t apply to me, I mean, I don’t say anything bad about people, and I am careful to keep secrets.” Gossiping doesn’t mean you are saying bad things, it’s saying things about a certain person, period. There are ways you can say it that change it from being good to bad. Let’s say you tell your friend, “Wow, ____ is super conservative.” You can say it in a positive tone, which makes it a compliment or in a negative tone, which implies that she is “weird.” You can also mean something as a compliment or as just a fact. Sharing facts isn’t wrong, but is unnecessary when it concerns someone other than yourself.
One way to make sure that you don’t gossip is ask yourself, before you share something about someone, “Would I say this if they were standing right here?” Usually if its something that you wouldn’t want them to here, you know it’s gossiping.
Many girls don’t realize that they are gossiping. They feel as long as they don’t say anything mean, then they are okay. It doesn’t really matter what you say, if you say it behind someone’s back, it’s wrong. Unless your planning a surprise party, or talking about how good a certain girls is, most other times it isn’t really necessary to include the names of other girls in your conversation with another girl. I always remember that I want to build up each girl, not tare them down. As friends we need to back each other up. This gives us the security that no matter what, our friends will stand by us. The world hurts and mocks us enough, we don’t need our close friends doing it too.
Gossiping destroys one’s self confidence and we want to build up each others’ self confidence.
What does the Bible say about being a talebearer or gossip?
First they reveal secrets-
“A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.” ~Prov. 11:13.
You see the contrast between a faithful spirit and a talebearer? One reveals and the other conceals. What one will you choose? Do you confide in a friend that you don’t trust? It is really hard to trust a talebearer. I don’t want to tell someone something that they will tell others.
Second it separates the best of friends-
“He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.” ~Prov. 17:9
“A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” ~Prov. 16:28
Distance is put in between people, when facts, either lies or truths are told. Do you want to separate friends? I sure don’t, we love having friends and we often feel as though our life is incomplete without them. Make sure that what you say to others won’t separate them from another girl. We want to love others instead.
Third it hurts others-
“The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.” ~Prov. 18:8, 26:22.
“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” ~Prov. 16:24
As you see here the words of a talebearer are like wounds, that inflict pain upon those being spoken of. On the contrary, pleasant words are sweet and healthy to us. Do you want to be know as someone who hurts another? One who is always negative and tramples people down? Or would you rather be know as someone who is pleasant, and sweet with their words? Who builds up others and help them succeed? We have a lot of power over our words.
Fourth it is lying-
“Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.” ~Eph. 4:25.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” ~ Eph. 4:31-32.
Most of what we gossip about are lies, and even of it isn’t, we should be edifying. We are to be kind and help each other, not lie, we are to back each other up as well. Please consider if you are a gossip, and change. Use the Philippians 4:8 test whenever you want to say something. Remember, what you say can make friends or lose friends.
