MODESTY ISSUE:
I have always struggled with the desire to have attention. Especially from guys, I’ve always wanted the affirmation and attention that they could give. This all came from a deep desire in my heart. I wanted that attention to be shown to me.
Just like the rest of you, the desire to push aside modesty rages. As I have written before, it’s not all about how you dress, but about how you act. I might have looked like a modest girl, but on the inside, I battled with the decision of how I would move with the body that God gave me. Was it honoring Him?
It is a heart issue. Choosing to be modest isn’t being set in a certain way of dress or behavior, it is a matter of the heart.
And even when guys aren’t part of the picture, is my heart always seeking the glory and fame of the world? Am I boasting about the good things that I have done?
Modesty– a word which is so shamed in today’s world… It isn’t what people think. It’s about the heart. Will you let your desires override the knowledge of doing right?
Before you can even dress or act modestly, you must be modest in your heart. Otherwise, the outward appearance, which everyone sees is nothing.
As the scriptures say,
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
In regard to modesty, we must keep our hearts from immodest desires, which leads into an immodest life, no matter our dress.
For what is shown on the outside comes from our hearts. Matt. 12:35 says, “A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.”
Paul warns us to “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22
We must be modest in our heart; we must keep our hearts and make sure they are honoring to God.
Every choice comes from a desire or lack of desire in our hearts. May all of us choose to be modest in our hearts.
MODESTY IS TWO PARTS-
We want to honor God in the way we dress, and with our attitudes. We also want to respect the purity of the men we encounter, and honor God with our dress. We want to uphold purity and modesty in both our apparel and actions.
Part 1- Dress
Though each person has their own definition of what is called "modest", and each person has to come to a conclusion for what they will not do/wear, each one should look into what God says about it.
Our job as a God honoring woman is to guard our fellow brother’s eyes. “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;” - 1 Timothy 2:9
We don’t want our dress to cause a stumbling block to the guys. “Let us not therefore judge one another anymore: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.” –Romans 14:13
The Biblical word for modest is 'kosmios' and its definition is: well arranged, seemly, and modest. This word is also used to define behave or behavior: “modest (kosmios),” is translated “orderly” in 1Timothy 3:2, and “of good behavior” in 1 Timothy 2:9.
Same word 'modest' is used twice in KJV Bible- 1Timothy 2:9 and 3:2 used in two different ways, modest in dress and modest in behavior.
As ladies, we need to be modest not just in our dress but in our actions as well. Some will say, well it’s normal and guys are used to seeing that so therefore it doesn't matter. Just because guys see it all the time doesn't mean that it doesn't cause them to stumble. If more girls wear the same things that are defined as 'normal' all it does is give the guys more and more temptation and it makes it harder for them to keep their eyes from going to the wrong places. Men’s responsibility is to flee temptation, but why make it harder for them?
We also want to save our bodies for our future husband. If we show all the other guys our body, then it won't be very special for your future husband. It’s not just about the physical but the emotional part as well. The more we can save for marriage the more blessed and beautiful marriage will be!
Every person’s conviction is going to differ on what is modest and what isn’t. So over all you will need to pray and seek out what God wants you to wear and how He wants you to act. So even if your parents say it’s okay, you need to go before the Lord and ask Him what He wants for you…you have to check it all through God and His word.
The question I'd ask yourself is not "is this modest enough?" but "how modest can I be?" We tend to go as close to that "questionable edge" without going over instead of trying to be as far as we can away from that line. If we truly love God and want to be like Him shouldn't we want to be as godly as we possibly can?
Part 2- Behavior
I know most of you have heard talks about modesty. Trust me, I’ve heard my share as well. The common theme is that we only hear about one side of Modesty– and that is clothing. There are so many books and sermons out there, so many varying opinions on what is “modest” and what you should wear and what you can’t wear. But this is only 1/2 of modesty! What you wear is only part of being truly modest.
We are called to be modest in apparel and modest in behavior. What does that look like for us ladies?
Well, we can be feminine as God calls us to be and we can honor him with how we move the bodies He has given us.
Can we give glory to God while we are flirting and acting unbecomingly? The answer is no. Most likely, if we are flaunting ourselves that isn’t very modest. We could be very modestly dressed, but if we flirt and use our actions to draw in other guys, then we are just as bad as someone who is completely immodest in how they dress.
Being humble is also an act of modesty. Maybe we don’t act seductively, but we are prideful and always putting ourselves in the center of attention. We could also try to draw the eyes of others to yourself. That is not modest either.
God calls us to be modest in our actions JUST AS MUCH as He calls us to be modest in our dress! How do we be modest in our actions?
1. Don’t flirt or flaunt, be honoring to God in the way you present yourself in front of guys.
2. Be humble and don’t boast/talk all about yourself. Don’t be in the center of attention or draw attention to yourself.
Overall modesty points to the One who is the most important. When you are modest, in your dress and actions–then you point to God. All glory and praise then can be directed towards Him!
